Are you insult proof?
Hostility can strike from anywhere and has a wide range from silent to verbally insulting. It is helpful to let all of it pass through you without taking it personally.
Recently in Chicago, I had the bizarre experience of going to The Wiener’s Circle for Chicago-style hot dogs and verbal insults. Our friends said something about the staff being rude, but it did not register nor prepare me to be crudely cursed at with hostile f-bombs in every sentence. Initially jarring, it was a blast to play along and swear like a sailor. When I asked someone to please hand me a napkin, I had to correct it by saying, “Hand me a f—ing napkin!” Every group that came in was startled at first then laughed and played along. It was a Zen-like therapeutic practice. If only we could handle every insult with such a carefree attitude. The good news is, we can! Here’s how.
1. Have compassion. Humans are complex and filled with shifting emotions. Hurt people hurt people. We cannot know what others are going through, so unconditional kindness is a service to all. You can consider, “What would the Dalai Lama do?”
2. Don’t take it personally. Remember that it is not about you unless you make it by taking it in. It is like playing tennis: When the ball comes your way, there is no game unless you hit back.
3. Hold the space for peace. It is impossible to manage another’s well-being. All you can do is inspire peace by being calm and allowing the drama to pass without catching it and adding to it.
It is easier to do the aforementioned and be carefree when you feel good, when you are fully expressed (scream therapy and exercise help) and when you are present, as we discussed in last month’s column, “Your Presence Is Required.”
Be glorious, and live well!
Your Virtual Fairy Godmother
By Dr. Macarena Luz Bianchi, PH.D.
Dr. Macarena Luz Bianchi is a flower lover, personal empowerment coach, speaker and author of lighthearted empowering handbooks who loves tea and travel. You can sign up for her “Wonder, Wellness & Wisdom WEEKLY WHIMS” newsletter at MacarenaLuzBianchi.com.